Ode to Lockdown. A poem by Fionnaigh OConnor

My WhatsApp bings for the millionth time
A bloody educational resource!
For homeschooling parents who may be inclined
To look like they’re doing the most

Yet no one wants to admit to themselves
Their child’s focus is lodged up his ass!
Yet lie to themselves that the genius child
It just too bright to pass

And the zoom calls! The zoom calls!
When one looks and acts like a gormless gameshow contestant
Not knowing the answer, not giving a damn
Fake interest for which we are destined

And the fights with one’s husband over dishwasher stacks
And who has brought out the bins?
And a child or two declares war on another
Beejaysus kicks on the shins!

Later on in the evenings on a social meeja tour
Come the humblebrags from some feckin dose
“Today baked sourdough, learned Latin and Greek!
But scuse me I don’t like to boast!”

And you hold every urge to reply in a rage
“Social distancing seems like a boon!
No virus like braggers and online blaggers
Pray to jaysus we soon come immune!”



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Twitter- @doradaisy

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