Oh! When will this Covid be over? A poem by Seamus Mac an Fhirleighinn

Oh! When will this Covid be over?
Oh! When is it going to end?
Tell me! When will it be over?
It’s driving me right round the bend

I’m sick of all the hand washing
And queueing to get into shops
I need a trip to the barbers
To prune and colour my locks

I’m sick of living in our house
I’m sick of my spouse and my wanes
Please let me get out of this prison
I just want to be with my friends

This distancing business ain’t normal
This Covid is only for mugs
There shouldn’t be two meters between us
We can’t carry on without hugs

You’ve no idea how much I hate shopping
The stress of Dunnes, Tesco and ASDA
No point taking a shopping list, there’s
No toilet rolls, no wipes and no pasta

I’ve taken to using the treadmill
Don’t laugh! Please hear me out
There’s nothing at all to laugh at
And here’s how it all came about

I was self-isolating and eating
My way through a fridge full of food
I thought this lifestyle could kill me
Won’t do my heart any good

A routine was what I needed
So I took to going for rambles
What an unbelievable nightmare
A dreadfully, horrible shambles

There were hundreds of people out walking
And it wasn’t the Twelfth of July
Couldn’t get a foot in edgeways
No matter how hard I would try

To keep my social distance
I’d zig-zag round a route and then
Before I knew it, my two mile hike
Was edging up closer to ten

This is why I took to the treadmill
A monotonous, mechanical track
I’ve clocked up so many kilometres
That I’ve been to Killarney and back

I’m now as fit as a fiddle
What that means I’ve never been told
Shame the Olympics are cancelled
I could have been bringing home gold

Oh! I know this Covid’s unpleasant
But for Greenpeace it offers solution
We’ve birdsong, sunshine and blue skies
No buses, no planes, no pollution

Political leaders use the language of war
Command structures, furloughed, Operation Blitz
Yet still the lions are led by donkeys
Proud heroes versus hypocrites

Catherine Calderwood has a second home
Do as I say, not as I do!
And Neil Ferguson has a lover
One law for me and one law for you!

In the middle of a crisis
Tell me who would you choose?
Dominic Cummings who needs child care
Or Alex Easton who needs shoes

May all the colours of the rainbow
Red, orange, yellow and green
Shine bright for our National Heath heroes
Who protect us from Covid-19

………….

I work in health and social care in NI. The references in the poem to Command Structures and Operation Blitz refer to elements of the organisational response to Covid-19. The individuals mentioned are public figures including a local politician who went on-line to purchase footwear during a Covid related Health Committee discussion.